Brien Allen
The following contains spoilers for all episodes of Time Bandits Season 1 (created by Jemaine Clement, Iain Morris, and Taika Waititi).
Welcome, dear reader, as we look back at Season 1 of the Apple TV+ series Time Bandits. What a fun ride that was. They have done an amazing job of capturing the spirit of the original film. Come on now, admit it. It’s a little refreshing to watch a time travel show that doesn’t warrant the word “Dark” in its title. Sometimes TV can just be fun escapism from the dystopian future every other sci-fi/fantasy series out there seems to be peddling.
Apple TV+ is filing this show under “Kids & Family” and that seems totally appropriate. Not so goofy that adults can’t watch it, but not so heavily plotted that kids can’t follow along. Though that hasn’t stopped my own 8-year-old from asking me endless questions about everything, of course. All part of the joy of having a show you can actually watch with your kids. Now we all anxiously hold our collective breath and hope that Apple greenlights them for Season 2.
An Extremely Dangerous Place to Live
The way the two premiere episodes, “Kevin Haddock” and “Mayan,” begin and end in Kevin’s bedroom gives the series a good solid start. Full up time travel hijinks were in play as the Time Bandits nearly bump into the Supreme Being making his exit after unsuccessfully trying to get the map back from their past selves. Just the kind of thing I’m looking for from this show.
The final episode, “Fortress of Darkness,” takes that up a notch, taking us to Kevin’s bedroom once again, but this time before the series even began. As Kevin’s “parents” give him pause to wonder if it was all a dream, the camera pans around his room once again. Only this time, we can see that everything we just experienced in the last nine episodes is represented here in his various toys, models and games. For just a second, we too have to wonder if maybe it really was all a dream.
Widgit speaks of his amazement at Kevin’s bedroom several times. He’s never seen so many portals in one place. He also saw the map pulse “like it was in the presence of real knowledge.” In Episode 4, “Prohibition,” we are introduced to Detective Katherine and Sergeant Lewis (per IMDb) investigating what happened at Kevin’s house. The detective comments, “This place has held someone of immense power.” Did his room being a time egress influence Kevin into becoming a history nerd, or did Kevin’s passion for history draw these portals to him?
Changing the Past
There is also a question introduced early on as to whether they are actually changing the past when they interact with it. In Episode 1, a frustrated Penelope berates Kevin about constantly referencing his history books to them. “Are you mentioned in the books? Are we mentioned in the books? Because just our being here might change some things. We don’t know.”
We finally get the answer in Episode 6, “Mansa Musa,” when the text of Kevin’s history book does indeed change to mention them. The size of the king’s hajj to Mecca changes from 60,000 to 60,005. Kind of silly, but it gets the point across.
With that knowledge in hand, they attempt to directly prevent the “coaling” of Kevin’s parents. Widgit, of course, cannot ever seem to hit the mark, returning them first to Bingley 50,000 B.C. in Episode 7, “Ice Age,” and then to Bingley 1996 in Episode 8, “Home Again.” Much like they apparently could never arrive before Susan fell off a cliff and was crushed by a giant boulder. Despite that, Kevin and Saffron still manage to give their parents just enough knowledge to save themselves—by following Kevin’s dad’s sage advice to “sometimes, give up.”
Total Legend, Innit?
Speaking of Episode 7, “Ice Age,” this was my absolute favorite episode of the season. Right off the bat when Saffron shows up riding a woolly mammoth, looking a bit woolly herself, and the neanderthals start berating Widgit for “coming at her,” you knew this was going to be good. I wasn’t sure where they were going with Saffron in the beginning, but this was an amazing payoff.
Every moment of this episode had me rolling. Saffron’s teenage nervousness around fellow teenager Grunt. Her little dance when she realizes she’s now the oldest. Top Dog thinking Penelope is “muggin’ me off” and then later wanting her to be his woman. Even the side story of Bittelig trying to save Twonicorn had its moments.
Rounding out the episode pairing for that week, Episode 8, “Home Again,” would have to be my second favorite episode. I’m always down for a little ‘90s nostalgia, especially if it includes some great goth music. This was also another good one with the time travel hijinks. The Bill and Ted moment talking to their future, then past, selves. The two Fiannas. The cathartic moment for Kevin, getting to hear his dad tell him he’s so cool. These two episodes really set the bar high for me going into the final pair of episodes.
The Real Time Bandits?
The last mystery we are left with is the other group of bandits. There was a bit of backlash when the casting of this series was announced and the Time Bandits were not cast as little people. However, the premiere episodes showed us a few little people working for the Supreme Being, though only as brief background characters.
Then, completely out of the blue, we get this side plot with the Detective and her partner on the trail of the Time Bandits in Episode 4, “Prohibition.” Nothing was ever set up with the Supreme Being putting them on the case. They just…appear. Their investigation continues in the next episode, “Georgian,” but this time the Sergeant’s blatantly expositional banter raises the idea that maybe they don’t report their results back to the Supreme Being. There are “people who’ve had enough of doing exactly what we’re told to do” that he’d like her to meet first.
Jump to the beginning of Episode 9, “Pell-Mell,” when that meeting finally takes place. Turns out the cherub spice maker is also the leader of “the most feared group of bandits in the whole of time-space continuum.” Which sounds a lot like they too are “Time Bandits,” perhaps harkening back to the original movie’s crew. They plan to steal the map from the shrubbery designers. When they get the map back (interesting choice of words), “things are gonna change.”
In case you missed it, in the final scene of Episode 10, “Fortress of Darkness,” we can see the five of them sneaking away in the background, map in hand, while our Time Bandits rage and moan about Kevin having somehow lost it.
Quick Takes
A couple of quick takes on the rest of the series and other tangentially related things:
- Woodhenge is a real place in England. And indeed, unlike its more famous relation, there’s no gift shop.
- Madame Chung should actually be Madame Ching, as in Ching Shih, an actual historical figure who commanded a fleet of over 300 pirate ships crewed by 20,000 pirates. I wonder a bit at the name change there and why it was done?
- The importance of names stands out as a running theme throughout the season. Pure Evil keeps getting his helpers Damon and Demon mixed up, while the Supreme Being has two helpers both named Jasper. Pure Evil also cannot bring himself to say the name of the Supreme Being without gagging. Penelope calls Kevin by every name imaginable other than his actual name. A running gag made all the more poignant when Kevin wins Penelope over by making one last plea using the self-imposed nickname that she had only briefly mentioned to him around the campfire, “Firestorm.”
- I will never understand why in Episode 3, “Medieval,” they chose to set an episode in the time of Robin Hood while leaving out all the Robin Hood bits. It’s an especially rough comparison with the original movie, which also had a Robin Hood scene that was one of the high points, with the great John Cleese playing the role. Maybe they thought this was a funny twist on the original, but it really didn’t work for me.
- One mystery that will likely not ever be resolved is what happened to Judy. Per Variety, the character of Judy was written out of the second half of the season due to an on-set conflict during filming that could not be resolved amicably with the actor Charlyne Yi.
- At the beginning of Episode 4, “Prohibition,” Saphron and Fianna continue following the Time Bandits’ trail through a period in feudal Japan. We never saw the original crew pass through this time, but the archer recognizes Kevin from Saphron’s drawing. Was there a cut scene we missed out on? Maybe setting up something in the future with Judy that had to be scrapped entirely.
- Episode 4 also gave us our first and thankfully only voiceover track by Kevin, narrating events to his lump of coal parents. It’s a strange choice and obviously unnecessary, given that none of the other episodes required such blatant exposition.
- Another glossed over moment comes in a conversation between Bittelig and Widgit in which Bittelig describes a dream he had, and Widgit says, “the Supreme Being didn’t let us have those.” Wow, this guy. What a jerk.
- In the subtitles, the saber-toothed tiger that nearly attacks Penelope is referred to multiple times as “smilodon,” which is the proper genus name of the ice age animal. Kevin would approve.
- Is Bittelig the spy? In Episode 8, he was last seen getting beat up by the two Fiannas. Then he reappears out of the blue with a story about how they started arguing with each other and he just slipped away. And while doing so, he also conveniently found medicine and a first aid book for Twonicorn. Pretty sus, innit?
- One running gag that I did find amusing was the idea that cats are the “instruments of Satan,” as the medieval Pope declared. I especially got a kick out of Pure Evil flipping through views like he was channel surfing in Episode 8. “No. No. No. No. No. I found him.” As a cat owner, I rather enjoyed the implication and can’t help but concur.
- There is at least one podcast, Sweet Child of Time, that is doing an episode-by-episode recap. They’ve even scored a few interviews with cast and crew members as well.
- If you had trouble remembering the cast, The Wrap has a nice recap of all the primary roles, their actors, and what else you might recognize them from.
Best lines of the season:
- “How can that be boring? It’s incredible.” “Incredibly boring.”
- “You were right about the horse.” “I bloody knew this!”
- “Well, what I always say is, ‘A stranger is really just a friend you’ve never met yet.’” (long uncomfortable pause) “That’s what I always say!”
- “Choose your weapon, sir.” “Uh, can I choose words?” “Absolutely, sir, although
the Earl of Sandwich will be using a gun.” - “Paleontologists say there’s no evidence that people rode mammoths.” “Well, tell them paleontologists to do one, ’cause I’m riding a flippin’ mammoth. Aren’t I?”
- “Is that how Neanderthals greet people?” “It’s how 13-year-olds greet people. Racist.”
- “Find this demon and knee him in the bollocks.” “It’s actually a she. Sexist.”
- “You got a problem with that?” “No, people like cherub spice. They say it’s tangy.” “Yeah, it is.”
- “Oh. Well, that’s nice. Gavin is living with your best friend, so you can visit them both
at the same time.”
Conclusion
The entire time I was watching this season, I couldn’t help the nagging thought in the back of my head wondering what they would do with a Season 2. Where does the story go after Kevin convinces the Supreme Being not to erase history and start over? Would the Supreme Being somehow endorse the Time Bandits and send them on a new mission? Or could they even end up working for Pure Evil? Would there be a new “Kevin” next season, or other changes to the Bandits’ lineup?
Silly me. Turns out this wasn’t a Season 1.0 so much as it was a Season 0.5. It could be that they are following the Foundation model (another Apple TV+ show) of paired seasons to tell a complete portion of the overall epic. A daring move in this age of streaming TV where the first question people ask when you recommend a cancelled show is, “does it end on a cliffhanger?” What happens when the people who were holding out to watch the whole thing after the last episode dropped decide to wait and see if Season 2 is going to happen before they invest in watching?
As a nostalgic return to a great classic from my childhood, this was a million times better than last year’s History of the World, Part II (which was a major disappointment). As a time-travel show, it rates a solid “good” that borders on “great” occasionally. But will it survive the comparison against its “darker” time-travelling cousins? The scenario reminds me quite a bit of Amazon’s The Tick, the light-hearted superhero show that went up against its grimmer cousin, The Boys, on the same streaming service…and got buried. Hopefully Apple treats Time Bandits a little better. We need a little more fun in our fantasy.
That’s all for now. Please let us know your thoughts and feelings about the series so far, and any theories you have on what’s to come, in the comments below.
All images courtesy of Apple TV+
thank you so much for mentioning my podcast Sweet Child Of Time!!!