Cat Smith
We all know Aaron Sorkin loves his holiday episodes. Some time ago, I wrote an article on his Christmas shows—The West Wing, sure, but there were also episodes from Sports Night and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip in there. And I closed by saying something along the lines of “who knows, maybe next year I’ll do his Thanksgiving shows”. Well, at the time of writing this, it’s a week before Christmukkah (Hanukkah just happened to conveniently fall at the same time as Christmas, but that’s beside the point). And maybe we can blame it on post tryptophan-haze, or the feeling of less and less to feel thankful for… but here I am, keeping good on that promise, for whatever that’s worth. I’m not here to debate the moral implications behind Ritual Sacrifice With Pie Day (this year I simply referred to it as Eat Your Feelings Day), but at the very least, we can sit here for the moment and feel thankful for quality television and the people who bring it to us.
The West Wing, “Shibboleth” (“If the Oscars were like that, I’d watch”)
“Well over three and a half centuries ago, strengthened by faith and bound by a common desire for liberty, a small band of pilgrims sought out a place in the New World where they could worship according to their own beliefs, and solve crimes.”
“Shibboleth” is the second West Wing holiday episode, the first one having been “In Excelsis Deo”, back in Season 1. Now we’re in S2, the show has really hit its stride, and everything is a well-oiled machine, from the pardoning of turkeys to the comedy stylings of Bartlet and Cregg. The Presidential pardoning of a turkey is a real thing, and apparently when Aaron Sorkin heard that traditionally it is the Press Secretary’s job to choose which of two is the more photogenic turkey, he couldn’t resist being absolutely fowl to Alison Janney (sorry). She carries it off with aplomb—although I hope she sent the cleaning bill for her office to the deputy chief of staff, to say the least.
I gotta say, much as I love the Bartlet Boys, and how CJ deals with them, sometimes we have to look twice to see beneath the charm at what a boys’ club the White House is, even one as hip as the Bartlet White House. At the top of the episode, it’s established that because it’s a holiday, CJ is really the only one whose job is stressing her out that day. Toby and Sam are goofing their way through a fairly easy speech, and Josh is actually counting how many times he can flip a nickel and it comes up tails. Meanwhile, CJ is in charge of all the holiday festivity. It’s a lot, and when she calls the boys out on it, their immediate response is to have the turkeys housed overnight in her office. Then at the end of the episode, they invite her to join them for Thanksgiving… oh, and by the way, can she cook? Boys, amirite?
The whole turkey pardoning thing was (I think) where I officially fell in love with Josiah Bartlet. Not that I didn’t love him before, but when his moral scruples don’t allow him to sneak a second turkey-pardoning past the under-educated kid from the turkey place (the President really does have no legal jurisdiction over birds), his solution is to draft the turkey into military service, and spare it from the chopping block that way. He also manages to throw in a quick “you need to be better educated” at the turkey kid… although Donna apparently didn’t know the President couldn’t really pardon a turkey either, so there’s that.
Meanwhile, there’s a whole plot going on with a boatload of Chinese refugees claiming to be persecuted Christians seeking asylum (bringing back from the pilot the Rev. Al Caldwell and Mary Marsh, Sorkin’s examples of, shall we say, two different breeds of conservative Christian). Charlie is on the hunt for a a new carving knife for the President, who needs a new one because he is passing his on (“proud of you, Charlie”… sob), and Toby is trying to gear up for a fight against school prayer using the bad choice of Leo’s sister as the poster child. Toby eventually agrees that Josephine McGarry isn’t the right call for the argument, but it’s an argument that does need having on account of the fourth grader who gets beaten up at recess for choosing to sit out the optional school prayer. Leo asks Toby, “what’d they do to you?” It’s never followed up on, but I always wondered. Was Toby bullied growing up? I was the only Jewish kid in my class in Brooklyn Heights in the 70s, and saw some unpleasantness because of it. Did Toby experience something similar?
Anyway, the turkeys get pardoned (and drafted), the shibboleth is spoken, and the refugees get the help they need. And when the President is explaining the inside baseball that made it look like a bunch of men, women, and children who hadn’t eaten in weeks had staged a prison break, he tells Josh, “Let me tell you something. We can be the world’s policemen, we can be the world’s bank, the world’s factory, the world’s farm. What does it mean if we’re not also… They made it to the New World, Josh. You know what I get to do now? I get to proclaim a national day of Thanksgiving. This is a great job.”
The West Wing, “The Indians in the Lobby” (“See, I was done.”)
It was this Sorkin holiday episode that got me started on brining the Thanksgiving turkey every year… though I don’t (as of yet) feel the need to tell my loved ones about the process for hours on end, nor abuse my executive privilege by doing so. I don’t think anyone really minds when President Bartlet does this… even when they would rather be watching football (or getting more than three hours’ sleep) as opposed to getting a history of the yam in Latin, or a breakdown of the wonders of national parks.
The title of the episode is literal (at least twice, people think the person saying “there are these two Indians in the lobby” is going to follow it with something about a rabbi and a priest walking into a bar). Two Stockbridge-Munsee Native Americans have decided to take a stand in the lobby of the White House. Either someone important is going to meet with us, or the press will get an eyeful of us being turned away. Once again, Thanksgiving complications fall to CJ, who had thought she had checked the last item off her to-do list before leaving for the holiday weekend.
According to recent numbers, there are a bunch more poor people in the country than there were before, so Sam is trying to figure out how to fix the math on that. As much as I love Sam, it never goes well for him when he tries to turn on the charm—he winds up saying things like “But how will you know I’m your buddy?” to a woman who would just as soon keep things formal, professional, and non-buddy-ish.
Josh is doing more inside baseball. This time, it’s about a Georgia kid who shot his teacher, got shipped to Italy by his parents, and now the GA authorities want him back. Problem is, Italy won’t extradite him to a state which allows the death penalty, so it becomes a whole Thing. Josh has to get involved, even to the extent of locating children’s books. It always unsettles me a little to see how much of actual get-it-done politics happens during clandestine meetings in airports.
The big thing that everyone remembers from this episode is the phone call to the Butterball hotline. I haven’t tried it myself, but yes, the Butterball hotline is a real thing (online too). It is utterly charming to watch the President doing his thing here, wingmanned by Toby and Charlie (I love that Charlie just happened to know that the Butterball hotline existed). I swear by Campylobacter jejuni, the King of Auto Sales in Fargo couldn’t have done it better.
I really can’t blame Leo for not wanting to accommodate people who (to use his not-inaccurate words) staged a sit-in in his lobby. That sets a dangerous precedent. After several trips back and forth from the West Wing to the lobby, doing what she could, CJ finally gets the two Native Americans to agree to make an appointment for Monday, and let the White House put them up in a hotel for the weekend. It’s a compromise, and it’s clear that CJ knows that what she’s offering them isn’t great, but it’s the best she can do—and at this point, I think she’s made it clear to them that she’s doing her best. She asks them, “How do you keep fighting these smaller injustices when they’re all from the mother of injustices?” She is answered, “what’s the alternative?” Yeah.
Sports Night, “Thespis” (“The Thanksgiving of Mom’s Disapproval—included on the 2-record set are the hit songs ‘Why Aren’t You Married’ and ‘Sports Is No Place For An Educated Woman’ and ‘Didn’t Anyone Ever Tell You How to Cook a Turkey?’”)
This article actually took me way longer to write than planned, because when I rewatched this episode, I got sucked into a whole Sports Night rewatch (I regret nothing). When I wrote one of these about Christmas episodes, I cheated and googled as opposed to doing an actual rewatch, the result of which was that I wound up writing about one Christmas episode, when in fact there are two. So first we’ll do Thanksgiving, and then you’ll get Christmas as a bonus.
Anyway, it’s November 23rd at Sports Night, and stress abounds in the studio. Isaac is worried about his impending grandson. Dana is worried about the Thanksgiving meal she is cooking for her family—she has stuck a frozen turkey up in the lighting grid to see how long it will take to thaw, as a practice run. Casey and Dan are stressing because it is apparently their anniversary (some sort of bro-versary, which culminated in their reciting the St Crispin’s Day speech in a hotel lobby), and Dan is all butthurt because Casey doesn’t remember. Worse, it seems like one of those days when everything seems to be going wrong for no reason. Jeremy, who always knows everything about everything, just ask him (sometimes it’s insufferable—in this case it’s hot) informs everyone that the reason everything is doing the wacky is that it’s Thespis Day.
On this day, in about 534 BC, Thespis of Icaria walked out on to a stage and spoke words in a portrayal of the god Dionysus, and thus became the world’s first actor. Now a ghost, Thespis apparently likes to wreak havoc on anyone who dares perform anything on his date. Dana begins to take Thespis rather personally—though let’s be real, Dana takes most things personally. In between her test turkey that is not remotely big enough to feed the 18 people she’s planning to have over for Thanksgiving and running the show, she manages to make Isaac’s worry worse while she’s trying to make it better—Dana does that too. Dana, I’m glad you know someone who had the same birth difficulties that Isaac’s daughter seems to be having, and I’m glad that that person is fine. But was it VITAL that you put it into his head that she could lose the baby? Sheesh.
While dealing with this, Isaac still manages to be there for Casey for one of their father/son type talks, that are one of my favourite things about the show (in case you haven’t gleaned this, Isaac Jaffe is my absolute favourite—anyone played by Robert Guillaume usually is). Casey doesn’t get why Danny is being such a nagging wife over this anniversary. Isaac sums it up. “So you say a few words, you make a gesture, you remember an important date. Small price to pay for what you get in return. For what you get in return, it’s a steal. The rest is all vanity.”
After the half-thawed turkey comes crashing down onto the anchor desk right in front of Dana and it looks like she may snap, Jeremy puts things into perspective for her too. It’s not just that Thepis likes a challenge, he says. “The point of any ghost is to offer humility. They point out what’s important by mocking what is not.” He reminds her that her family is going to love her and her mother is going to be the way her mother is whether her Thanksgiving dinner is great or not, so why stress so hard over the turkey? She tells him that for a guy who has read The Hobbit 14 times, he can be pretty smart sometimes. Hey Dana, I have read The Hobbit at LEAST 14 times, don’t judge.
Sports Night, “Six Southern Gentlemen of Tennessee Tech” (“Exaudio, Comperio, Conloquor.”)
The reason the Christmas-ness of this one slipped by me last time was that it’s the B-plot of the episode, and the main plot is so strong, you kind of forget that oh yeah, this is the one with the Christmas stuff in it. What happens is that there’s some news from Chattanooga that a very talented young Black man won’t play football at his university unless the school takes down the Confederate flag. Neither will six of his teammates. The school is pushing back, and this very talented kid is at risk of losing his scholarship. As it turns out, the president of the network that owns Sports Night, Luther Sachs, went to that university, and is on the board. He’s made considerable donations over the years, and he’s in a real position to do something about it. Problem is, Luther is on the side of the school. He wants Danny to do a piece on the flag, and how it also represents Southern pride, gentility—all those things people say when they’re trying to ignore the fact that it’s a symbol of hate and bigotry. Danny doesn’t want to do it, and in fact wants Isaac, as the managing editor, to go on camera and make a statement to the contrary. Isaac doesn’t want to at first because he’s feeling his years and he likes his job… but then he realises what needs to be done, and he does it. He calls Luther out on camera, telling him to support the students and tell the school to take down the flag. There are repercussions later, but it’s a glorious moment.
Back to Christmas. While all this was happening, Casey does an appearance on The View. And in the midst of talking about the show and being cute, they ask him about the famous ties he wears on the show (apparently everyone loves his ties). When he gets back to his own office, he is greeted by Monica, a wardrobe assistant, played by Janel Moloney in her immediately pre-Donna Moss days. She saw him on The View, and she was disappointed in him. Those ties everyone loves, she says, don’t just magically appear in your dressing room. They are chosen by my boss, and every day we put all this thought into which tie will go with what shirt, which will work under what lights, what will bring out your eyes best, all that. “Do you have an idea what it would’ve meant to her? Do you have any idea how many times she would’ve played that tape for her husband and her kids?” Casey is rightfully rebuked… and at the end of the show, he and Danny do something about it.
“That’s all for tonight, but before we sign off, we felt that with Christmas only a few days off and people making up lists and checking them twice, it was as good a time as any to mention some people who are important to us here at the show.” And they proceed to list a whole big bunch of people by name, from wardrobe (mentioning that Monica Brazleton is NOT to be trifled with) to gaffers to interns. It is extra heart-warming to know that these names aren’t just made up… these are actual members of the crew of Sports Night that Aaron Sorkin took the trouble to thank for the holidays.
In the spirit of that—my editors for this kind of thing are Robin and Caemeron, and they rock my socks and catch my typos. Happy hols, y’all.
