Hawk Ripjaw
The following recap contains spoilers for The Righteous Gemstones S4E3, “To Grieve Like the Rest of Men Who Have No Hope” (written by John Carcieri, Jeff Fradley & Danny McBride and directed by David Gordon Green)
During a stormy night in 2002 in the Gemstone mansion, a gloved intruder smashes picture frames, takes a baseball bat to other possessions, and pillages the gold-plated Bible from its glass housing. A terrified child hides under his bed, holding a hand over his mouth to silence his panicked breathing as the figure enters his room. The figure slowly approaches the bed. They lift up the bed to find the child, who unleashes a terrified scream.
In the present day, Kelvin (Adam DeVine) awakes from his nightmare, screaming and covered in sweat. Keefe (Tony Cavalero) turns the lights on and notes that Kelvin’s nightmares and night sweats have been increasing in frequency and intensity, which Kelvin denies. Towel in hand, Keefe hops into bed and begins gently wiping down Kelvin, who chalks the nightmare up to the storm. Kelvin shares that he hates storms, and always has: “It’s like the Devil’s peeing on you.”
This leads to my single favorite comedic moment of the season so far, and one of the funniest things The Righteous Gemstones has yet served up: a hysterical dramatic monologue delivered by Keefe, looking directly into the camera, describing “Satan with his red-hot weenus, pissing a foul-smelling stream all over us.” Keefe continues describing this in excruciating detail, from the color and temperature of Satan’s urine, to how humanity can be deceived into finding it “delicious.” Keefe is no doubt alluding to his past as a Satanist. As Kelvin is lulled back to sleep, Keefe gets up and moves to the window to tell the storm (and the Devil) that he and Kelvin can’t be harmed in there. A huge flash of lightning and clap of thunder causes Keefe to begin gasping, and an impressively massive erection forms in his pajama pants before a smash cut to the title card.
Eli (John Goodman) and Lori (Megan Mullally) have rapidly accelerated their relationship that started last week, knocking things off of the bathroom counter as they make out with each other. Lori cuts off their lovemaking to get down to the family supper outside, where we get introduced to new character Corey (Sean William Scott), Lori’s son. Here, after everyone makes fun of the identical mustaches Jesse (Danny McBride) and BJ (Tim Baltz) are sporting, Kelvin announces that he is a nominee for Top Christ-Following Man of the Year. Jesse’s anger at being overlooked for the award is met with Kelvin’s reveal that the Prayer Pods have been a massive flop, owing to their removal from airports and malls because people were using them to masturbate.
The siblings continue to throw reliably hilarious jabs at each other, and Corey excitedly praises them for how “fun” they are, before joining in and telling the woman next to him, Jana (Arden Myrin) that her dress is “f*cking dumb.” The Gemstones find this highly amusing, but Jana disagrees. Corey retorts that “that’s what siblings do,” and Jana responds, “But I’m your wife!” I can tell already that Corey is going to be an excellent addition to this season.
At the Gemstone kids’ encouragement, Corey “rips” on Eli, noting a hickey on his neck. Eli tries to hide and deny, calling it a mosquito bite. Obviously, the siblings are too stupid to read into this whatsoever, continuing to be deluded that Eli would never “get any action.” Moreover, when they and Corey later witness from a distance Eli getting a little too chummy with Lori, Corey suggests that the two are doing the deed. Judy (Edi Patterson), of course, delivers a graphic scenario of what that would look like. It’s hard to pick a favorite character from the show, but in the moment, Judy is often the funniest. Once again, the siblings laugh at the prospect of Daddy having sex and write off what they’ve just seen.
Jesse is desperately trying to upstage his father when it comes to delivering advice to his son Gideon (Skyler Gisondo). He calls in his posse, including Levi (Jody Hill), Chad (James DuMont), Matthew (Troy Anthony Hogan), Gregory (J. Adam Larose) and even family voice of reason Martin (Gregory Alan Williams). The advice session is derailed by the news that Vance Simkins (Stephen Dorff) has opened up a new church across the street from a Gemstone church. Jesse is furious, curses up a storm, and suggests “visiting a little violence,” but Martin urges against doing so, despite the posse’s excitement. Jesse, surprisingly, relents, and asks Martin’s advice as to the alternative. Martin suggests that Jesse shore up his congregation so that they won’t get poached by Simkins.
At a pole dancing competition, BJ nervously watches the performer before him, but Judy supports her husband and gives him fierce encouragement before BJ goes on stage. Unfortunately, a strong start to BJ’s performance ends with him accidentally sliding down the pole and painfully faceplanting on the floor, twisting his neck and legs. Judy rushes to her husband’s side and screams for an ambulance. In the next scene, we see a distraught Judy in the hospital waiting room with her family when Eli and Lori arrive. She does, however, wonder how Lori somehow knew what happened, and Lori clumsily tries to explain before Amber (Cassidy Freeman) notes that Lori and Eli arrived at the same time, which is also unconvincingly waved away. In BJ’s hospital room, Judy continues to be devastated about BJ’s state, in her own way.
Over at the Cape and Pistol Society, Jesse and Simkins’ bitter rivalry continues with elaborately cruel exchanges of words and even more elaborate swooping of robes, as the men clash over church openings, of which Simkins has six. Pay attention to the visual element of this scene: not because it has any major plot developments, but because the movements of the two actors that accentuate their argument makes the scene one of the funniest in the episode.
The scenes following BJ’s discharge from the hospital are darkly humorous: Judy laboriously attempts to load a groaning BJ into their vehicle after bullying two men watching them. At a restaurant with the rest of the family, BJ is deeply embarrassed at accidentally knocking over a glass, and Judy encourages him, while the rest of the kids make jabs at him. Corey interrupts to call out Eli and Lori, who have been making eyes at each other across the table. Eli decides to finally come clean that he and Lori have been “seeing each other.” The Gemstone kids leave the table in a fit of rage and retreat to the restaurant’s kitchen.
Eli, as he had suspected, finds them in the freezer, and forces them to come out. Eli irately asks his kids if they expect him to stay alone forever, to spend the rest of his life in mourning. The younger Gemstones respond in the affirmative (with Kelvin’s glasses hilariously fogged up). Eli says that if he could have anything in the world, it would be to have Aimee-Leigh back, and suddenly breaks down. He’s been so lonely, and wishes they could understand. Jesse is first to place a hand on his father’s shoulder, apologizing for his initial response. His siblings follow suit in apologizing, putting their surprise and anger aside to comfort Eli as he dissolves in tears into their arms. There’s nothing funny about this moment: it’s a genuinely emotional end to the scene as the family comes together.
Jesse delivers a sermon to his church across the street from the Simkins church: “Commitment…we commit to Him and His ways…what takes us into the Kingdom of Heaven, reunited with everybody we ever loved, everybody we ever lost…” We get a shot of Eli in his garden, looking at the effigy of Aimee-Leigh. As Jesse continues to talk, speaking about Simkins’ “New church setting up shop…beware of the wannabe, trying to think they’ve got your best interests at heart.” We see Lori wandering around Eli’s home, entering the recording studio that Aimee-Leigh used, finding her glasses, putting them on, and looking at her reflection in the glass of one of Eli’s late wife’s albums. “Be warned,” Jesse says. It’s clear that he’s delivering an advertisement for his church over his rival’s, but it carries deeper meaning for the thematic climax of the episode in an incredibly well-crafted juxtaposition: Lori is the “new church” deceiving Eli.
Jesse continues, “We are good, honest people,” now set to his posse going to the Simkins church in the middle of the night, breaking windows and throwing Molotov Cocktails inside. “Family, my friends, is forever,” Jesse says. “We never turn our back on family.” As he says this, we get another shot of Eli… literally turning his back on the Aimee-Leigh effigy as he exits the garden, and the episode ends with a shot of the Simkins church burning. Wow. An awesome final few minutes to an already-great episode.
I’m sure I’m not alone in predicting that Eli may die in this final season. I think it will be done tastefully and result in him finally being reunited with Aimee-Leigh in heaven, and him truly happy, which to me feels like a natural conclusion to his arc this season. To boot, it really feels like everything is coming to a conclusion in this already-fantastic season, and while there is some plot setup for next week, the emotional and thematic elements really feel like they’re taking center stage. Of course, there’s still more than enough room for comedy in the funniest show currently airing, and I’d be remiss to not be looking forward to whatever this hilariously dysfunctional family gets up to next week.
The Righteous Gemstones airs on Sundays on HBO at 10pm ET, and is streaming on Max.
