Hawk Ripjaw
The following recap contains spoilers for The Righteous Gemstones S4E5, “You Shall Remember” (written by John Carcieri, Jeff Fradley & Danny McBride and directed by Jody Hill)
“You Shall Remember” opens on Vance Simkins (Stephen Dorff) looking upon the remains of his church after Jesse’s posse vandalized it a couple of episodes ago. Leaning against his pristine luxury car, Simkins turns around to look at the Gemstone church across the street, easily putting together the pieces as to why his new church is in ruins.
Back at the Simkins offices, the rival preacher sits in his office until Craig, a member of his inner circle, steps in, demanding “his money.” Simkins warns Craig to tone down his “unsustainable” spending, affirms that “Craig’s” money belongs to the church, and, according to a court order, is under Simkins’ control. Craig refuses to back down, countering that Simkins continues to open up new churches despite his claims that the foundation is broke, and chalks it up to Simkins’ escalating rivalry with the Gemstones. Simkins relents and gives Craig $10,000, asserting that when he wins Top Christ-Following Man, “they’ll all see.” Craig says that straight white men don’t win awards anymore, and apropos of nothing, suggests that Simkins might not be straight. Furiously, Simkins strikes him down.
Baby Billy (Walton Goggins), always on the hunt for that next big hit, is hard at work on a new script: a series about a teenage Jesus Christ in Nazareth. After putting the finishing touches on the script (shedding a tear) and printing the document, Baby Billy does a line of coke and abruptly decides to amend the title from Teen Jesus to simply Teenjus (this title is a point of ridicule at least a couple of times this week). Aunt Tiffany (Valyn Hall) couldn’t be more supportive, and even nanny Sola (Kerstin Schulze) admits to her love of teen dramas and that she would definitely watch Teenjus. Baby Billy, ever the grateful employer, yells at her to go away. This is only Sola’s second episode, but I feel like it’s only a matter of time before she snaps at Baby Billy—indeed, the cracks are already starting to show.
Over at Prism, Kelvin (Adam DeVine), with Keefe (Tony Cavalero) in tow, is throwing another party in support of his campaign to win Top Christ-Following Man. Also in attendance are the rest of the family including Jesse (Danny McBride), Judy (Edi Patterson), Eli (John Goodman) and Lori (Megan Mullally). While Jesse and Judy are less than enthusiastic about the event, one thing they can agree with Kelvin on is that Eli shouldn’t have brought Lori with him. Lori herself comes over to apologize for what the siblings had to witness last week and appeals to them with a reminder that she’s the surrogate aunt they grew up with and loved, politely asking for a restart. When the kids coldly refuse, Lori decides that she, too, will go on the offensive, referring to herself as the “wicked stepmother.” This sends the kids into a panic, asking if Eli and Lori got married, which Lori refuses to substantiate.
BJ (Tim Baltz) is still struggling. He’s sort of on his feet, but only to messily use the portable toilet, and when trying to get back over to his wheelchair, he upends it and falls into the bathtub. Judy rushes in and tries to provide physical and emotional support, but BJ rejects her, admitting that “angry, crippled BJ” is something new that he hates. He yells at Judy to go away, but as his wife retreats, she looks sadly over her shoulder and leans against the door on the verge of tears as he loudly struggles to get out of the tub on the other side.
Amber (Cassidy Freeman), however, might have a solution: Dr. Watson, a service Capuchin monkey trained to hopefully help BJ in the day-to-day. Judy and Amber have a hilarious exchange here, with Judy’s crassness playing off of Amber’s responses reminding us that Amber has been dealing with Judy for years.
Sure enough, Dr. Watson is the real deal: not only is he adorable (I would lowkey die for Dr. Watson), an initially skeptical BJ is astounded at how well Dr. Watson follows instructions. Forgetting the bread for his sandwich, BJ instructs the monkey to retrieve the bread, and Dr. Watson does so easily. Not only that, but when instructed Dr. Watson even returns the bread to the basket he got it from.
At the Cape and Pistol Society, Simkins confronts Jesse about the burning down of his church, which Jesse all but confirms. The men’s escalating rivalry comes with some more Cape & Pistol lore, this time being a yellow handkerchief being dropped on the show of another member as a challenge to a duel. I love all of the complicated and stupid customs this society has. Simkins promises that he’s something Jesse will never forget. Jesse pretends he doesn’t even know Simkins (“New phone, who dis?”), a schoolyard insult that visibly annoys and even hurts Simkins. “Got him, Daddy!” Jesse smugly says to Eli as Simkins storms off.
Jesse’s posse has been doing some research on Lori, and what they present to the siblings doesn’t paint an entirely rosy picture. The boys have compiled a series of pictures of Lori spending time with multiple men, and all of them, including Big D*ck Mitch, have either gone missing or turned up dead. The kids wonder if Lori might be a Black Widow, and go to the person who would know the most about her, Baby Billy. Their uncle is focused only on Teenjus, and won’t share any details on Miss Lori until they agree to greenlight it. After they reluctantly do so, Baby Billy reveals that Lori, deeply in debt, reached out to Baby Billy for a gig on Aimee-Leigh’s birthday telethon, and points out how “convenient” it is that Lori is now with the extremely wealthy Eli. It’s also worth noting that the camera work in this scene is very funny.
Jesse, Judy and Kelvin decide to confront Eli about this revelation, but Daddy is having none of it, yelling at his children that their mother is not coming back, and that he can’t spend the rest of his life being sad about it. This leads the kids to drive Eli into an ultimatum: them, or her. Out in the garden, the siblings turn on each other, especially Kelvin vs. the other two, with all of them hurling hurtful comments stemming from Kelvin’s smugness and sense of superiority. The scene ends without them reconciling. They might be feeling a little bad for the insults, but no one wants to back down.
Eli and Lori arrive at Lori’s home, where they’re greeted by Corey (Seann William Scott). As Eli and Lori head into the home, Corey looks back at them in a very deliberate shot, and I think I know what’s going on. Lori’s not a Black Widow at all: it’s Corey! Last week, Corey talked to Jesse about his feelings about Lori’s love life. He’s clearly very invested in his mother’s relationships, and my suspicion is that Corey is the one responsible for each of Lori’s relationships ending in the man dead or missing: if he deems a man “unworthy” of his mother, he gets rid of them in one way or another, and Lori is none the wiser. I’m putting that on the record now (unless something happens next week to sway me in another direction), and I don’t think Lori is in cahoots with him, but that is still possible, I suppose.
Kelvin, along with the other finalists for Top Christ-Following Man, participate in a televised roundtable about their feelings about topics in the Church. It doesn’t go well for him. Earnest as he is, Kelvin is still more than a little insufferable in his delivery, and he’s cut off by Simkins, who soundly rejects Kelvin’s sexuality and teaching philosophy. Despite Kelvin’s insistence that Prism still follows the Bible, just through a different and more modern lens, Simkins continues to berate Kelvin, causing the youngest Gemstone to visibly crack under the pressure and the audience to steer their approval towards Simkins. As Simkins sneers at Kelvin, we cut to Jesse turning off the TV and sighing, possibly feeling bad for what he said to his younger brother earlier.
Judy arrives home to find a set table with wine and candles, and BJ waiting for her with words of apology for the way he’s been treating her. He’s been getting on very well with Dr. Watson, who presumably has helped set the table and gotten things ready for dinner. Judy suggests that God was testing their faith in Him and with each other with BJ’s injury, promises him that they will ace any test they’re given, and affirms that they’re “the best couple in this whole f*cking family.” As BJ and Judy kiss, we get a slow push into Dr. Watson and a very ominous musical sting as he watches from behind a planter pot. Looks like someone’s getting jealous!
As Eli and Lori sit together on the couch, enjoying some edibles and a horror movie, a brick comes crashing through their window. Picking it up, Eli sees the word “SINNERS” written across it. Stepping outside, the couple finds the SUV in flames. “Eli, there’s something I haven’t been straight with you about…me and you need to have a talk about my ex.”
Now things are really starting to get interesting. If Lori’s been hiding the details of her ex (Big D*ck Mitch, or someone else?), what else is she not being as forthcoming about? And if Corey is the one behind the disappearances of Lori’s exes, who threw the brick? Could be more than one person causing turmoil behind the scenes, of course, but hopefully next week we’ll find out more.
The Righteous Gemstones airs on Sundays on HBO at 10pm ET, and is streaming on Max.
