Chris Sheridan
The following recap contains spoilers for The Righteous Gemstones S4E8 “On Your Belly You Shall Go” (written by Edi Patterson, John Carcieri & Danny McBride and directed by Johnathan Watson).
We open on Judy (Edi Patterson) pushing BJ (Tim Baltz) in his wheelchair down the tree-lined road leading up to their home. Judy reminisces on how they used to spend their time running around, and how they’ll never be able to do the things they could do when he could walk. BJ responds that he wants to show her something. He slowly removes his legs, one at a time, from the wheelchair, stands up, takes a few steps…and immediately faceplants. Judy helps him to his feet, steps back, and he tries again. This time, he successfully walks forward into his wife’s arms. BJ is healed!
Jesse (Danny McBride) and Amber (Cassidy Freeman) watch footage of the aftermath of Kelvin’s win at the Top Christ-Following Man event, where Vance Simkins (Stephen Dorff) furiously protests a homosexual in the church, taking swings at the security officers before they wrestle him to the ground. Jesse could not be happier to see his rival so defeated, and pats himself on the back for being the one to push Kelvin to succeed. He laments that he won’t get any public recognition for his influence, but Amber manages to placate him by painting him as the “hidden figure” working behind the scenes.
After breaking up with Lori last week, Eli (John Goodman) sadly looks at a picture he took with her on his phone, spends some time wallowing in sorrow on the couch, and decides to finally cut his long hair. With a fresher look, he despondently sucks on a straw at a family dinner including BJ and Dr. Watson. With BJ now walking, the rest of the family is ready to get rid of the monkey. As an aside, I’ve mentioned it in passing, but I need to really emphasize it before it’s too late: the costume design in The Righteous Gemstones is phenomenal. All of the characters as constantly sporting vibrant, creative fashion. I think they’ve really stepped it up this season, and Judy especially gets a consistently awesome aesthetic.
Lori (Megan Mullally) sits outside her house while her son Corey (Seann William Scott) joins her for a smoke. Corey suggests that Lori just call Eli, not only for her to feel better, but to eliminate any bad blood in the eve of his birthday party, something he’s hoping the Gemstone kids attend. Lori says she doesn’t care who shows up, and Corey uncomfortably drops the bombshell that her ex Cobb will be there as well.
Aunt Tiffany (Valyn Hall) and Sola (Kerstin Schulze) have a barbecue going, waiting for Baby Billy to show up. The sausage is ready, but Baby Billy (Walton Goggins), over an hour late, is nowhere to be seen. When Sola suggests they eat, Tiffany asks to wait a little bit longer: Baby Billy promised he would be there. Unsurprisingly, Baby Billy is still on the set of Teenjus, now officially playing the titular character, doing blow and micromanaging his set. The project gets more ambitious, eventually culminating in an elaborate dance sequence. I don’t recall reading that in the Bible, but this is coke-fueled Uncle Baby Billy we’re talking about. “Dance, Teenjus, dance, got the spirit in my pants” is actually a line in this sequence.
Arriving at Corey’s birthday party, Cobb (Michael Rooker) carries a box under his arm and declines a drink from a partygoer. Corey laments that the Gemstones appear to have blown off his party, and walks away as Cobb and Lori stare each other down across the party. Cobb approaches his son and presents him with his gift, the box bearing a fine-looking knife designed by Gil Hibben. He presses Corey for details on whether Lori and Eli have broken up, and Corey refuses to discuss it. Cobb responds by slapping his son across the face. “You think you can still do that?” Corey asks. “I just did,” Cobb retorts, and walks away.
Cobb confronts Lori in the kitchen, and states that it would be a shame if something ever happened to Eli like what happened to Big D*ck Mitch. At this point, Cobb is acting sinister enough to more than imply that he’s the one behind at least one of Lori’s disappearing exes. He tells Lori that no one will ever love her like he did, and Lori throws him out. Further foreshadowing comes when Lori asks Corey if he thinks Cobb would ever do anything to hurt Eli, and Corey reassures her that he doubts he would. After Lori leaves, a strange look comes over Corey’s face as he looks out the window.
Baby Billy finally gets home late at night to a sleeping Aunt Tiffany and a more-than-irritated Sola, who informs Baby Billy that Tiffany is upset with him. Baby Billy finally opens up a little bit to the nanny, telling her that he’s not trying to hurt anyone, he just wants to make sure that they’re taken care of, that they have what they need. “They need you,” Sola firmly tells him. “They can have me when I’m done,” he responds.
The Judy/Dr. Watson rivalry finally comes to a head when the monkey threatens to drop a hair dryer into her bathtub, and Judy has had enough. She manages to convince BJ that Dr. Watson needs to go to be with someone who needs help now that BJ is physically back on his feet. On the day the service animal van comes to retrieve Dr. Watson, BJ is devastated, and even Judy, happy as she is to get rid of that psychotic monkey, feels some empathy for her husband.
Following the aforementioned Teenjus shoot, Baby Billy and Eli talk over lunch. Baby Billy notices how miserable Eli is, and tries to cheer him up, but stops Eli from answering a phone call from Lori, calling it a “power move” to ignore her. Lori finally decides to appeal to the kids after being unable to get ahold of Eli and delivers a stirring monologue, telling each of them how tumultuous events in their lives inspired her and Aimee-Leigh to write songs about them. In a huddle-up, the siblings realize that Lori is probably being sincere, and agree that they will help her reach Eli, but that doesn’t mean they will call her “Mommy.”
As Eli and Baby Billy get into Baby Billy’s Cybertruck (of course he has one of those), Eli suddenly collapses. I was terrified for a second that Eli was having a heart attack or a stroke or something, and Baby Billy likewise panics. But it’s just a poison dart knocking him out, and Baby Billy gets one as well. They wake up in a concrete room with a naked, chained-up and traumatized Big D*ck Mitch, and a moment later, their assailant is revealed to be Cobb. We also see that Cobb is not just a scorned ex-husband, he is a psychotic sexual predator, and as he starts to unzip his pants, he’s interrupted by a report that the police are at the front gates. They’ve received a tip that Mitch might be/has been at the park. While Cobb is occupied with that, Eli, Baby Billy and Mitch manage to escape. Just as the cops are ready to leave, Mitch runs past, and Cobb shoots both cops in the head.
Eli and Baby Billy run through the park as Cobb gleefully hunts them down and a menacing chorus chants in the background. Out of bullets, Cobb runs at Eli and the men throw down old-school style while Baby Billy hides in fright. Cobb gains the upper hand and repeatedly shocks Eli with his stun stick. Baby Billy finally opens up his ring, and as the chorus in the background turns angelic, Baby Billy takes a huge snort of cocaine from the ring, giving him the courage to step out to save his brother-in-law. He runs at Cobb, screaming “COCAAAIIIIIINE!” and is instantly laid out by a punch from Cobb.
All seems lost, and Cobb is ready to kill both of them, but then Corey comes out of nowhere, plunging his birthday knife into his father’s back and throwing him into the water. Eli rings the dinner bell, and the Chekhov’s Gator is finally paid off as the massive alligator approaches and grabs Cobb, whipping the screaming villain around and carrying him below the surface. Eli asks Corey how he knew what was happening, and Corey replies that Lori was worried about Eli so he came to check on things. And I guess I was wrong about Corey! Dang, I was really confident on that one!
The Righteous Gemstones is good at so many things, and one that consistently surprises is the music choices. As “Grace” by IDLES plays, we see all of the main characters come together in the parking lot with the police and paramedics. The Gemstone kids embrace their crying and traumatized father, Aunt Tiffany throws herself into Baby Billy’s arms (and Baby Billy even lays his head on Sola’s shoulder), Corey holds Lori, and finally, Eli and Lori approach each other and embrace.
“On Your Belly You Shall Go” is the penultimate episode of the final season of The Righteous Gemstones, and this was one of the best episodes of the season. The climax in particular was especially exciting, even with Cobb as the main villain being pretty heavily telegraphed. This sort of excitement is something I would have liked to have seen sooner in the season, but we have one more episode to wrap the entire saga up, and I can’t even guess what McBride and his team will have for us next week.
The Righteous Gemstones airs on Sundays on HBO at 10pm ET, and is streaming on Max.
