Cat Smith
Miguel Luciano is an actor, acting coach, and one of my absolute dearest friends—and he has found his way to online fame with his fabulous impressions of the Real Housewives. I caught up with him on one of his whirlwind trips to NYC, and over brunch at the Empire Diner (which I recommend highly, for anyone in the Chelsea area, btw), I got him chatting about his NON-Housewives-related life. This is streamlined (you can watch the whole thing here if you are so inclined—we are very cute), because when we get together we do have a tendency to get giggly.
CAT: Okay, so, five questions with the amazing, gorgeous Miguel. Listen…talk to me about you as an actor. Because you are one of like, the best actors I know.
MIGUEL: Thank you, I appreciate that. Well, I started in professional theatre.
CAT: You’re the one who got me sold on the concept of “hot Emcees” in Cabaret. Because, I am violently opposed to the “hot Emcee”, but when it’s you…
MIGUEL: Thank you so much. I played it twice, I don’t know if I was hot either time, but I believed I was.
CAT: You were super hot.
MIGUEL: Thank you. So yeah, I did professional theatre my whole life, and then I did television at 20, and you know, the goal is just to continue with that, but I love theatre, and if the right role came up, I’d do it.
CAT: So screen is your oeuvre?
MIGUEL: I mean yeah, if someone calls and is like, I want you to do this play, or get into rehearsals with your friends, right, just getting to play is an amazing thing.
CAT: Because live theatre, right?
MIGUEL: There’s nothing like live theatre. The danger that happens is something I miss. Because I live on the edge, and these days not as much, and there’s a sense of danger when you’re doing a play. It’s like, we’re starting, it’s like, places. And no matter how used to it you get, it’s like, all right, in five minutes we’re starting the show, and it’s not stopping unless something really bad or crazy happens. And like—you know, you’ve done a thousand shows—we don’t really stop the show.
CAT: Yeah, the ball has to stay in the air.
MIGUEL: Totally! It’s like, I’m gonna keep this ball in the air with you, and we’re gonna play with each other on stage, and sometimes you get into autopilot and it kinda just goes, but other times it’s like there’s this new thing that happens, and we’re here together and it’s just us…and however many hundreds or thousands of people in the audience. So yeah, I think I enjoy the danger of being an actor.
CAT: Talk to me about coaching. You’re like, this amazing, amazing coach—you were supposed to do an online class, and that never happened, and my heart broke!
MIGUEL: I know! I moved to LA and it never happened!
CAT: You should do another one! Teach another online class, and then everyone can take it, and everyone in the TV audience can take it.
MIGUEL: I really should. I would love that. Yes, everybody take my class! I love coaching because I love helping actors bring their interpretation of a character to life. You know, I’m an actor, so I get the insecurity of being an actor, I get the doubts of being an actor, I get the weirdness of being an actor. But I think, having had a significant amount of successes and a significant amount of failures, I’ve learned from the good and from the bad, and I’ve been teaching for a long time, so I think I’ve figured out the system on how to work with an actor. Right? Cause it’s a system. And you know, being an actor isn’t just helping someone get the character down, it’s also about psychologically being able to know how much to push and pull. There’s a lot more psychology involved in being an acting coach than just knowing the craft.
CAT: And you know people. That’s a big thing with you, you can just zero in on a person and get them, and that, I think, helps you so much as an actor and as a human being.
We went on to reminisce about how we met—he was about to turn 17, and it was at French Woods Festival of the Performing Arts, and he sidled up like he was trying to give his phone number to Mrs Robinson. You had to appreciate the sheer cheek of the kid—so I asked him if he could cook. He said he would learn. He’s never learned to cook, but we’ve been friends ever since. And it brought us round to this subject…
CAT: You know, we didn’t plan on this question, but, why are women my age just better?
MIGUEL: Smarter, more confident, they know who they are, and there’s something hot about boundaries. Enforcing a boundary, and there’s a certain fearlessness that happens after a certain age, I think, where you’re like, fuck it, this is who I am, and if you don’t like it, I’m not for you, which I think is very attractive.
CAT: At 40, you start losing your fucks. No-fucks 40s.
MIGUEL: I’m into that. I need to find one for the 30s.
CAT: We’ll think about that. We’ll get on that one. Going back to the whole “I met you when you were 17” thing, when you’re at camp, you direct mostly for kids, and you are magical with them. Talk to me about that. They love you and you love them. What’s the combination there? Why is that amazing?
MIGUEL: I think I’m kinda wacky, so just that start helps, right? But aside from that, I think kids are curious, and adults stop being curious, as a general rule. Like, you work with an adult actor, and sometimes they’re like great and they’ll take whatever you give them, and sometimes they’re like “well the reason I did that choice was…” and they start defending themselves. Whereas kids don’t defend themselves. You’re like hey, why don’t you try it again and this time do this, and they’re like great. And I think kids are less self-conscious. And I think as we get older, you know, if you’re auditioning for a TV show or a professional play that could really help you out, there’s a lot more at stake, whereas kids don’t have to worry about whether they’re going to get the job and if it’s going to pay their rent. They’re just like, great, this character’s a lot of fun, or, I don’t like the character that much but I’m willing to make it fun. So I think the stakes not being as high change it? Cause creativity gets to flourish when you’re not that worried about the outcome. So I think that kind of helps that creativity that comes out, is sort of the trick, for me, that makes it more exciting.
CAT: I totally get that. Plus, they’re so frickin cute.
MIGUEL: And they are! You’re just like oh my god, we’re just having the best time, you know? And honestly, there’s just a lot more gratitude. Kids are always thank you so much, whereas adults aren’t as grateful.
CAT: And they call you Mister Miguel.
MIGUEL: I know, right? Mister Miguel is such a funny little name…they love alliteration!
CAT: You can’t beat alliteration. What are you doing for the holidays?
MIGUEL: I’m staying in Miami…wait, no, I’m staying in LA, what am I saying! (lots of laughing) I haven’t lived in Miami for two years.
CAT: LA is insulted!
MIGUEL: LA is mad at me! They’re too apathetic, they don’t care about anything.
CAT: That’s true.
MIGUEL: So I’ll be in LA, I’ll be having some dinner parties, I’ll be hosting some some people for the holidays…yeah, just having fun at the house.
CAT: You gonna make a bunch of drinks for everybody?
MIGUEL: Of course!
CAT: Because I saw the ad that you did for, what was it?
MIGUEL: Crown Royal, I was just about to say, so we did the Crown Royal thing, which is a lot of fun, so I’ll be making some Crown Royal chocolate whiskey cocktails for my friends, and there’s a lot of pairing possibilities…you could make, you know, espresso martinis, chocolate lemonade—I know it sounds crazy, but it’s really quite good.
CAT: Chocolate lemonade?
MIGUEL: Yeah, chocolate Palomas, chocolate cherry sours, the whole thing.
CAT: I would risk a migraine for that.
MIGUEL: I think you should.
CAT: Sweet and me don’t usually get along, but I would risk a migraine for that, because that sounds actually amazing. So you’re like, a drink voyeur now.
MIGUEL: Yeah, exactly. I curate, I create, I concoct, I serve…it’s been pretty fun.
CAT: That’s gorgeous. What does the future hold for you? What’s the next thing that you’re working on…or, what’s the next thing that you want to be working on?
MIGUEL: A Mike White show! I wanna work with Mike White. Did you ever see Enlightened?
CAT: No.
MIGUEL: Enlightened was a show with Laura Dern, and it was just genius. Obviously White Lotus would be amazing, but anything Mike White touches I would love to be a part of. Or Ryan Murphy, because I love his sort of over stylised seriousness. There’s like a campiness to his drama, which I think is just so much fun, to have to walk that fine line. There’s a challenge to it, I think, doing it right, so I would want to do that.
CAT: I love Ryan Murphy. I love his stuff.
MIGUEL: Good, so hopefully I would get to be on that show, and you’d watch it.
CAT: We have a dream that Ryan Murphy would do his own version of Little Shop of Horrors and it would be American Horror Story: Florist. And it would be really dark…
MIGUEL: Oh my god, that’s amazing. And I want Jessica Lange to be Audrey 2. That’s what needs to happen.
CAT: See? That could be a thing.
I thought about leaving this next part out, because if you didn’t go to French Woods, these names aren’t going to mean much to you. But considering that FW has been around for over 50 years, and we are increasingly everywhere, I figured I would leave it in. Odds are good that someone, somewhere, reading this, either went to French Woods or knows someone who did.
CAT: We have to go here…just a little bit. So, take your brain to French Woods. Now, we’re not getting gender-specific, but if French Woods had its own Housewives, ignoring gender for the moment, who would they be and what would they look like?
MIGUEL: I think Jim Randolph has to be like the head of the crew. Even though he’s not shady, we’ve seen some moments where he’s very witty, so I think that some Jim Randolph wit could go viral. I think you would definitely be a Housewife…
CAT: Oh good god.
MIGUEL: Yes you would be, I could see you in like leopard cocktail dresses and coats –
CAT: Rainbow leopard though.
MIGUEL: Rainbow leopard coat, and a rainbow leopard hat, and I could see you like throwing theme parties that would work really well. I think Beth would be like the smart girl, you know, like the writer of the group, who’s like very sort of intellectual, and we need those…
CAT: Beth wears the regular leopard.
MIGUEL: Regular leopard, and you’re rainbow! Exactly! Um…I think Evan Ross would make a spectacular Housewife.
CAT: I would love that.
MIGUEL: Evan Ross, with his tie-dye, and the tie-dye cocktail dresses, and the Grateful Dead bears. And Evan Ross is energetic, and you need energy on camera, so I think you have it. And throw in Ron Headrick for good measure.
CAT: I enjoy that so much.
MIGUEL: And we’ve got the Housewives of French Woods.
CAT: There it is. I want that.
MIGUEL: There it is. I love you.
CAT: Thank you so much! I love you!
