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Third Day Theories – Parts 3 & 4 – How About a Truckload of Valium?

Welcome to the post-Memorial Day weekend edition of TDT. Sorry, been on vacation and didn’t have the time to get caught up on everything. But, that’s over now except for the unpacking, so let’s get cracking..

Theory: The Dead body paired up with librarian Ruth’s head is Major Briggs.

Analysis: First, the reasoning here is that the fingerprints the Buckhorn PD ran came up as classified military personnel. Ok, let’s take the bait and see where it takes us.

Bobby, and probably everyone else in Twin Peaks, thinks Maj Briggs died in a fire at the Listening Post Alpha (LPA), but perhaps that is not the case. The mystery voice talking to Bad Cooper accused him of having met with Briggs, and it didn’t sound like you met him 25 years ago. That meeting, of course, is documented in the Secret History, and after Briggs realized that something was wrong with Cooper, he was headed to the LPA to send out a mayday. This presumably is when the fateful fire happened.

But what if Briggs thought Bad Cooper was on to him, or followed him? Perhaps Bad Cooper killed Briggs, but perhaps Briggs faked his death and went underground. He might have done so to protect Bobby even, and his wife too of course.

So when the mystery voice says Bad Cooper met with Briggs, this very well could have been recent. And if we allow for that, then maybe this time their meeting was fateful. Or someone else, the mystery voice, took out Briggs because he is now working *with* Bad Cooper (and Jeffries?).

Or hell, he could have been killed 25 years ago and have his body just show up now. This is Twin Peaks, after all.

Theory: Bad Cooper needs a garmonbozia recharge.

Analysis: Let me explain that a bit. After Bad Cooper and Dougie Cooper threw up some garmonbozia, both were acting a little wonky. Dougie just sits in the chair and states “that’s weird” to his rapidly shrinking body. In prison, talking to Gordon, Bad Cooper also seems sluggish and dulled.

The theory being that both of these Coopers use garmonbozia as a type of fuel, and by losing a good chunk of it, they are now drained of their normal vibrance. Hmm, could be. I wouldn’t rule this one out.

There’s also a theory that having Bad and Good Cooper in the real world is draining both of them of their essence. They split one soul between the two of them. I think that as Good Cooper starts to recover / rebuild himself, that idea will be proven incorrect. Though I do believe they are two parts of a whole that must eventually be reunited.

Theory: (you name it) is the anonymous​ billionaire who funded the glass box project on NYC.

Analysis: Everyone from each and every Horne (Ben, Jerry and Audrey) to Philip Jeffries has been named a potential candidate for this role. I see little substantiation for any of these wild guesses.

Theory: When Albert says “I know where she drinks”, he is referring to (you name it).

Analysis: Well, we’ll find out soon, but in the meantime, I think the forerunners are Diane (but please don’t show her face) (unless it’s Laura Dern I suppose), Sarah Palmer (because there’s a scene of Gordon and Albert in the Palmer household), and .. well, that’s it.

Here’s a good one from Mark Wild on the Twin Peaks (2017) Facebook page: “A ridiculously wild theory, Annie has returned to the convent after her Black Lodge ordeal and the “I know where she drinks” line is just Albert being his usual acerbic self.” That may be a tad out there, but I do agree that counting on Albert to be talking about straight forward “drinking” is probably not a safe bet.

They could also blow our minds and give us a character we think is dead, like Cooper’s mother or Caroline, because we’re on an alternate timeline.

A few random thoughts:
– The power station was purple. Red and blue (ala Jacoby’s theories of human consciousness) make purple.
– The lady with her eyes down shut would have enhanced listening, ala the Giant’s instructions to Cooper in the black & white room.
– If Jeffries is working with Bad Cooper, could it actually be a doppelgänger Jeffries, and not the original? This might be a way around the loss of David Bowie.
– A silver mustang (i.e. the casino name) is a white horse.

Random thoughts on the Glass Box:
– Counter Esperanto podcast points out that it is set up like a camera.
– It’s been pointed out that the FBI saw the picture of the monster but did not find the picture of Cooper. Is that because he was never there really? Or did somebody come in and take it before they got to the scene. I think this is more likely, especially given that they cleared out all guards before the incident, like the anonymous billionaire knew what was going to happen and when. Or, it’s another indicator that there’s a mole inside Cole’s organization.
– The brick building is out of place on the area where it is located. Could this location have been known and preserved for this use for a long time? Is this another opening to the lodges (or some other “special” location)? If so, how long ago was it purchased / built?

Theory: “253” referred to a time.

Analysis: The Arm said to Good Cooper “253. Time and time again.” This is now apparently revealed to be the time of the Cooper / doppelgänger Cooper transition. We saw the time on the clock in Bad Cooper’s car and even saw the time in the purple power station on the watch “American Girl” was wearing.

Not to get all technical, but Bad Cooper was in South Dakota (Central time zone on the Eastern side) and Dougie Cooper was in Las Vegas (Pacific time zone, same as Twin Peaks). And who knows what time zone the purple power station is in.  So, 2:53 where? And if this is timed to be 25 years to the day, does that mean Bad Cooper left the lodge in the afternoon? Because in the season 2 finale, it was pretty clearly dark at Glastonbury Grove. Strange.

Bad Cooper seemed to know the date of the transfer, but not the time. Else why would he have been out driving around at 2:53? So maybe the time is somehow independent, or it’s not about being 25 years to the second, but instead about planetary alignments or send other event of astrological significance. Or hey, maybe it was the time zone thing.

Theory: Dougie Jones was a decoy.

Analysis: Phillip Gerard tells Good Cooper “you’ve been tricked” and that now one of you (i.e. you and your doppelgänger) must die. So the “trick” is that he swapped with Dougie Jones and not his doppelganger, as planned. This was Bad Cooper’s contingency plan to avoid being pulled back into the lodge. Pretty straight forward in my mind (though there are a few other theories floating around).

Theory: There are two (at least) timelines we’ve been shown.

Analysis: This notion started with the Secret History, of course, and its little inconsistencies. Not just within the world of Twin Peaks, but also with real world events like the first moon landing.

As painful as everything with Wally has been (I know there are fans, let’s just table that discussion), there is one aspect of interest to the larger mythology. Wally was born on Marlon Brando’s birthday, which is April 3rd. This would be only days after the events of the season 2 finale.  At least, in this reality.  In another, maybe Brando has a different birthday?

That’s one example. Another is that there are general oddities with the South Dakota events. For example, Bad Cooper needs Ray to get information from Bill Hastings’s secretary, yet he knows Bill’s *wife* Phyllis. As evident when he himself goes to meet (and kill) her a day or two after Ray, Darya and Bad Cooper had that little pow wow at the diner. And how does a high school principle come into knowledge of coordinates relevant to Bad Cooper anyway?

Theory: Annie was just an agent of the Black Lodge to lure Cooper.

Analysis: Disclaimer, I hate this theory. But I have to admit that now that we know of at least one “manufactured” person, it makes the likelihood that Annie was also a bit more solid. This however leaves us wondering about Dougie’s wife and kid. Are they real? Or was there a real Dougie Jones that was replaced by the decoy Cooper without others noticing (like what do they see when they look at Dougie?). Hopefully we’ll know more real soon.


One last thing. Just to promote my own wild theory that Shelly and a changed man Leo are back together, I think Deputy Bobby’s reaction to Laura’s photo is more indicative of someone who did not end up with Shelly and went back to pining away for his “lost love” Laura for a while. Who knows..

Written by Brien Allen

Brien Allen is the last of the original crazy people who responded to this nutjob on Facebook wanting to start an online blog prior to Twin Peaks S3. Some of his other favorite shows have been Vr.5, Buffy, Lost, Stargate: Universe, The OA, and Counterpart. He's an OG BBSer, Trekkie, Blue Blaze Irregular, and former semi-professional improviser. He is also a staunch defender of putting two spaces after a period, but has been told to shut up and color.

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